Psuedo-Movie Critic

Zorro and Cinderella. It’s just BEGGING for mocking jokes.

In case you dunno what the bloody hell I'm talking about, it's A Cinderella Story. Tons of Girl-Type-Persons in my class like it and I was kinda curious about how bad their taste can get. It was on Channel 5.

It's a high school teen movie. Here's the general idea:~

Girl is unpopular idiot. Admires popular jock-hunk who actually has a poetic side. (Haw, haw, haw.) Meets J-H (jock-hunk) online by chance. Establishes relationship but remains anonymous. Causes J-H to dump cheerleader girlfriend. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Plans revenge. Girl dance with J-H during prom but wears mask thingus so J-H still in the dark about girl’s identity. Cheerleader gets revenge but revealing identify and insulting girl. They magically make-up and make out. Eww. End.

Let's put this in pros and cons:~

Pros:

Accurate portrayal of high school hierarchy in America. (Cheerleaders/Mean Queens then Jocks then Jokers then Nice Guys then Goths then Nerd-Geeks then Slacker-Rebels)

No Disney heartwarming shit.

Cons:

Predictable best-friend-is-opposite-sex-but-no-romantic-relationship thingus.

Predictable best-friend-makes-it-big-in-the-end thingus.

Predictable triumph-of-the-downtrodden thingus.

Predictable hero(heroine)-gets-the-girl(guy) thingus.

Bad puns.

Mushy shit.

So, in conclusion, this movie's no big fuzzy deal. I thought the kissing was supposed to be only at the last bit? Way too much, anyway. Should have waited till Dakota Fanning rew up then shot the movie. In fact, all teen/tween movies should have Dakota in them. Sarcasm. Hilary’s okay, I guess. But she's better off as Lizzie McGuire. Or singing. Definitely.

Hmm. That was fun. You know, insulting movies and stuff. Should do this more often.

Oh yah. Zorro and Cinderella (a.k.a Cindy):~

One day, Orro, Zorro’s brother, went to save Cindy from a discriminately evil dragon. After killing the dragon effortlessly in defiance of many laws of science, Orro tried to copy his brother’s style by slashing the letter “O” on the dragon’s forehead. He did three deft slashes. It looked nothing like an “O”. He slashed another few times. It still looked nothing like an “O”. In frustration he slashed frenziedly and screamed, “Why is “O” so @#$%^&* hard to draw!?!”
Cindy shot him in the head. “I can’t have a relationship with a guy with bad penmanship,” she said.
Then she left for some Ben and Jerry. Later, two idiots, Britney and Paris came across Orro and the dragon. “What are those slashes?” Britney asked.
“I think it’s a picture of a bald head,” said Paris.
“Nah, it looks more of like a drug rehabilitation centre,” said Britney.
“Let’s shoot him again for bad penmanship.”
They shot him again.

Okay. Laugh. Thank you.

I got this list of questions from the Gunner’s blog. They’re quite quirky-cool. So I decided to answer them:~

1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME
Lee Shao Xun
2.What colour pants are you wearing?
These light brown Bermuda thinguses.
3. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
The weird sound of the wind from the fan beside me. And Fall Out Boy.
4. ARE YOUR LEGS CROSSED?No.
5. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
Pizza. Homemade. Me likey pineapple.
6. IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON WHAT COLOUR WOULD YOU BE?
White. Only idiots uses white.
7. HOW IS THE WEATHER RIGHT NOW?
It’s nighttime. Can’t tell.8.
LAST PERSON YOU TAlKED TO ON THE PHONE??Shaunito.
He’s buying an xBox 360. Lucky dude.
9. FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Posture. Catwalkers are bitches. Slumpers are retards.
10. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT YOU THIS?
Huh? I got it myself. Yes, I like myself a lot.
11. HOW ARE YOU TODAY?
Okay. Weekends are good.
12. FAVOURITE DRINK?
That pineapple thingus where they put the pineapple chunks in the drink.
13. FAVOURITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK?
Whoops. Forgot momentarily. It’s this drink where they mix fruit juice with alcohol. Rocks.
14. What is your favourite sport?
Kicking Julian’s evil butt with a Jack. (LF2) Killing Mars Dudes with a heavy machine gun. (Metal Slug) Olympic blogging.
15. HAIR COLOUR?Black. The whole thing. (Who am I bluffing?)
16.EYE COLOUR?
Brown with black in the middle.
17. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
No way. Creepy. Sticking your finger into your eye feels weird. And how do you get it out?
18. SIBLINGS?
Brothers. Two. Horrible. Duh.
19.FAVOURITE MONTH?
Jan. Beginnings and all those sappy crap.
20. FAVOURITE FOOD?
Toughie. How about “everything that is intentionally prepared by means of thermal conduction for human consumption”?
21. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
Does A Cinderella Story count? If not, then it’s Mr. Bean’s Holiday. It was not bad.
22. FAVOURITE DAY OF THE YEAR
Sep 11th. Call me terrorist.
23. SATURDAY OR SUNDAY?
Sunday. There’s Scouts on Saturday. = (
24. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT?
Never tried. Not foreseeing any attempts in near future. That’s a good thing.
25. DO YOU LIKE MARMITE?
Marmite? Is that a mite that Martians get? How does it survive on Mars? Has the Martian doctors found a cure? Can it spread to humans? Are they going to kill chickens just for the heck of it? Are going to use Tan Tock Seng? Will there be a “994”?
26. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Winter. It’ll be nice to be freezing for a change.
27. HUGS OR KISSES?
Neither. Me no likey mushy. If you want to show affection/appreciation, write me a cheque.
28. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA?
Vanilla. Sometimes, chocolate tastes weird. You can’t go wrong with vanilla.
29. DO YOU WANT YOUR FRIENDS TO WRITE BACK?
To what? Me lawsuit?
30. Who's most LIKELY TO RESPOND?
Nellie. But if you’re asking about someone real, then it’ll be a computer automated answering thingus.
31. WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
Elvis. Too busy turning in his grave.
32. LIVING ARRANGEMENTS?
Define.
33. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING?
Bad question to ask. Go NLB and check my library account. I can’t mention them all. But for now, I’m starting on Chinese Cinderella.
34. DID YOU WAKE UP BEFORE YOUR ALARM WENT OFF ?
No. I slept at 1am yesterday.
36. DO YOU MISS BIG BROTHER YET?
Dun have one. If I did, I dun think so.
37. FAVOURITE SMELLS?
The vanilla smell in Vanilla Coke. Nice
38. WHAT INSPIRES YOU?
RX. The Gunner. Really. No flattery here.
39. BUTTERED, PLAIN, OR SALTED POPCORN?
Me no likey popcorn. Very easy to get sick of them.
40. FAVOURITE CRISPS?
I dunno, Pringles?
41. FAVOURITE CAR?
That green thingus that Mr Bean drives around.
42. FAVOURITE FLOWER?
Jasmine. Lee. SARCASM. BIG TIME SARCASM.
43. How MANY KEYS ON YOUR KEY RING?
No key ring.
44. CAN YOU JUGGLE?
Two. Pathetic.
45. FAVOURITE DAY OF THE WEEK?
Wed. School ends early, lessons are reasonably bearable.
46. RED OR WHITE WINE?
Me no likey wine. Posh shit.
47. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY?
Cake. So-so.
48. DO YOU OWN A DONOR CARD?
Donor card? What’s that? Are Martians entitled to those? If they found a disease that donor cards carry, would they kill chickens?
49. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING?
Must not press snooze button.
50. WHAT ARE YOU DOING ONCE YOU HAVE FINISHED THIS ?

Starting another post. Updating my blogger profile. Deleting Jing Wu Men from my phone. See ya.

I want the words to make things right but it’s the wrongs that make the words come to life
¬Thnks Fr The Mmrs by Fall Out Boy
END.