Leave well enough alone

Blogging alot less now, coz I can now SMS just about my only reader. But I'm inviting Gunny, so I guess I'll need to start posting again.

Just some sketch show-style comedy...

How to not get beat up in a shady LAN crawling with pai kias:

1. As you enter the LAN, find a reason to insult your companion's mother, preferable with a word that sounds like "cheese pie".
2. Mess up your hair, if it isn't already "artfully dishevelled".
3. Scream about how you're "outta cigarettes" and that your "cocaine supplier ditched you".
4. If you have a cap, don't cover your head entirely. Let it sit there like it's the 1960s and afros are hip. (The pai kias love doing that. Dunno why.)
5. Swagger a bit.
6. Untie the laces on one shoe. The dudes love scruffyness.
7. Have something in your mouth that you can chew nonchalantly. Try to be noisy with it.
8. When playing, randomly accuse people of KS-ing. (eg. A PA and a Troll asks you, PotM, to start a gank. You shoot an arrow and miss. Then you try to leap but gets stuck in the trees. PA flings a dagger and Troll permabashes the guy to death. You shout. "Who the F***ER go and KS me?! My MOTHERF***ing arrow got him into PA's range and my leap IAS aura let Troll permabash!! F*** you all. All your mothers no (CHEESE PIE)!! F***head f***dick f***shit mindf***ers!!) @#%^@!!!) Hopefully the gangters there dunno hokkien and will be intimidated but not pissed. If they are, you're screwed.
9. Don't feed, but don't pwn too much. Just don't get noticed. (Be a TA and meld in the mid lane for the whole game, leeching exp. After an hour, go use your gold per second $$$ and get a chicken army. They'll love you.)
10. Finally, don't even go near the LAN if you're buckteethed, wearing a checkered tie, a plaid shirt, wearing thick, black nerd glasses (save the chic geek look for uni. Heard it's all the rage there.) or tight trousers. The pai kias will instantly smell the Scent of the Nerd in the air and immediately attempt to kick your balls. Dozens of legs aiming at one crotch isn't a nice feeling. Then they'll slice and dice you faster then those gAyE chefs and Japanese steak houses (yum). You probably won't come home.

Fall Out Boy's album's coming out Nov 4th. OMG. Can't wait for it.

"I see you lying next to me

With words i thought I'd never speak

Awake

And unafraid

Asleep

Or dead"

~Famous Last Words by MCR