Creating the perfect hell

Something big is happening. I may die.

This weekend's pretty slack, save for a physics thing. Whatver. I feel sorta random so I guess this post's just gonna lead off with me rambling ans shambling on and on about stuff.

I hate worrying, and yet I hate knowing what's gonna happen. As in, if it's gonna be bad. It's a head on conflict which doesn't make any bloody sense. I'm a damn hardcore escapist. As in, escapism -- escapist. Whenever something huge is gonna come and kick my ass, my natural reaction is to pummel MCR into my ears and stick my head into a hole which the ostrich just vacated. Pretty gay, actually. As in, not facing up to anything. I need the crisis to catch up to me and scream in my face before I even decide to do a shit.

That's something seriously screwed about me.

Everything's so damn relative I can't even find absolute extremes in life anymore. That kid who uses 2ndhand textbooks is nothing compared to the farmer kid in Vietnam who is nothing compared to that child solider somewhere in the screwed world who is nothing to someone who's just plain dead. Or maybe that's untrue. Some people always talk about death as a relapse, something to let you break free of all the shit in your life. Simply coz you don't have a life anymore. It's also damn scary how quickly perspective can change. In the morning you're worrying about if there's gonna be enough time for you to copy that math assignment and 10 hours later you may be freaking over how many stitches you're gonna need.

It seems that happiness is a give and take thing. Whenever you get something really good in your life it'll obviously be time for something else to screw up. It's all a balance. But as this thought rolled about in my head I thought of the abovementioned child soldier. There isn't any balance for him? I think there is. It's just that our A1s are replaced by his extra piece of bread and our broken handphones are replaced by his friend dying. It's all in context. It's all relative.

Damn, all my thoughts are thrown together in this one big mess.

I'm currently no emo, strictly speaking. Coz I'm don't actually feel sad. I'm feeling that weird sort of thoughtful melancholy that rainy days induces.

I was just trawling through the self-centered, pointless, superficial blogs of so many RVians and thinking to myself about how shallow it all is. Then I realised that I'm slipping towards hypocrisy, coz my blog also tell people who don't care about things that don't matter. So I'm trying to write something more....mature? Deep? Thoughtful? ... Yea, thoughtful.

And the cool thing is that no one will actually read this coz only coincidental passersby comes here. I'm writing to ghosts.

Wear me like a locket around your throat

I'd weigh you down

I'd watch you choke

Live In The Days Of The Phoenix

So stuff has been happening lately. As always. CNY came and gone. Nothing special about this year. Seems like the whole thing's been reduced to meals and gambling. Fine by me. There was a 6R class reunion which semi-flopped, meaning that the people I didn't care about didn't come. 3I's fine.

The fervert resolution of working hard is starting to fade. I know, it took a damn short time. Gotta make it permanent. I. CAN. NOT. SCREW. UP.

Today's Post-Birthday Day. Got Live In Phoenix. TYTQTYTQTYTQTYTQ. Fall Out Boy does not sound as close to their studio recordings as AFI does, but it's still pretty decent. Just 3 more days to the concert. ...

Saw the America's Suitehearts MV. Crap. If they're gonna go to hell like Panic!, I'm gonna kill them. And Ashlee Simpson. And Baby Bronx. I've realised Pete is a bloody limelighter, just like sooooooo many of the fags in school. Should ditch him. Bassists aren't hard to find. And hard to tell if they're good. Coz the bass is just, like, rumbly. And even though about a billion girls will detach from FOB fandom and I'll miss those killer lyrics, Pete should die.

Realised I'm boring all the non-FOB blind and deaf people with my ramblings, but WTH.

Oh, and for DotA people, this is cute: http://forums.dota-allstars.com/index.php?showtopic=268167

We're doing satires for ELit, which is basically a (ugly)girl-fest. Damn little guys. Anyway, satires are really cool. Lol. Will say more next time.

"I think there's a possibility that some of you guys were concieved through this song."

~FOB's Pete Wentz, introducing Beat It

"I remember when I was told of story of crushed velvet,candle wax, and dried up flowers

The figure on the bed all dressed up in roses, calling

Beckoning to sleep,

Offering a dream

Words were as mystical as purring animals

The circle of rage

The ghosts on the stage appeared

The time was so tangible,

I'll never let it go

Ghost stories handed down, reached secret tunnels below"

~Days Of the Phoenix by AFI

Double Nuts

So. I'm supposed to review FAD this time. Okay.

I came back here to write this after I finished typing the whole thing. It turned out to be a bloody long post which I honestly put quite alot of effort into, so try to read it all. Or listen to the album, at least. Link's at the the end of the post. In fact, bringing about a new FOB fan's the best possible outcome of this post.

Basically I love all the Folie songs to different varying degrees except What A Catch, Donnie coz I think it's kinda boring. Although I love the way it ends, with all the guest stars singing lines from past FOB songs.

Let's take it from the top.

Disloyal Order Of Water Buffaloes is a pretty damn solid song with a really good chorus. Its starts the album off good. "Detox just to retox" is one of those lines that haunts your head when you're trying to sleep -- in a good way. "Nobody wants to hear to sing about tragedy" is such a direct stab at themselves. They're the emo ones. There's a hidden song you can get to listen to if you rewind from the start of the song. You can only do this if you've bought the CD. :P

Disloyal Order leads right into I Don't Care, their obvious money song. This is the song that gets to have an MV and download as a ringtone. As commercialism goes, this one's pretty blatant. The chorus is a uninspired chant of "I. Don't. Care." and has a boring, straightforward title. I have a love/hate relationship with commercial songs. Part of me hates it that FOB has to slip a couple of these into each of their albums but the other half of me wants FOB to get famous via these songs so that they're more fans around. Whatever. I Don't Care's mediocre at best.

She's My Winona starts with a bunch of "oh"s, which reminds me of Of All The Gin Joints In All The World. Betcha didn't notice that. Another song with a damn great chorus, the second verse is kinda weak, but that doesn't matter so much coz overall it's great. But it sorta gets old at the end when it's all just "the thunder"s. My comments may sound rather negative, but I still think this song rocks.

America's Suitehearts. Single #2, at least in S'pore. At this point, I gotta make a distinction between "money singles", and "damn good" singles. Money singles are singles released with the intention of making money. Duh. Damn good singles are songs that are made singles coz everyone loves it. I can't really tell which category does US's Suitehearts fall into, as is the case with Thnks Fr Th Mmrs. Nothing special or devastatingly bad about his song. I just think "I'm in love with my own sins" is a great line.

Headfirst Slide Into Cooperstown On A Bad Bet. Aha. This one's really good. I like the way Patrick's voice is really deep at the start of the song. "Surfed out brainwaves flick back and forth like old headlights sniffing model glue again" doesn't make a shit of a sense to me, but it sounds great when it's sung in beat with the guitar. I also like the "I didn't"s. Lol. Dunno why. The chorus really shows how amazing Patrick is and I like the sudden break in tempo after in. Then the guitars comes crashing down. The second verse is short but pretty cool, with tempests in teacups and peroxide princes. Then the rest of the song blows me away. The first half was good enough, but the other is nuts. It's so bloody good I gotta swear to get the point across: it's fucking magical.

The (Shipped) Gold Standard caught my attention coz there's a hint of an insider joke in the title. The start has a nice beat to it and many people love "I wanna scream 'I love you' from the top of my lungs, but I'm afraid that someone else will hear me" and I think it's pretty cool too. The chorus is a nice one, with Patrick going high for "soon as we hit the hospital". The change in beat when the second verse didn't go down well but it's pretty negligible.

(Coffee's For Closers) is my current fav, despite my over-the-top gushing about Cooperstown. Think I might have gotten carried away. Nevermind, I still wouldn't go back to edit. (Nevermind's a Nirvana album.) I like the strong drums that kick this song off and the first verse is so damn smooth. Everything falls into place, the words and the melody. "When they made me they broke the mold" is gonna be one of those lines I keep in my head. The rock anthem chorus is good enough to almost beat Holiday by Green Day. Never believe, never believe. Freaking great. My only peeve is the weird-assed ending, with the violin. So sad. If it ended with a guitar solo, it'll be Best. Song. Ever. Or at least have a shot at it.

What A Catch, Donnie's kinda too mellow for my liking and slightly uncharacteristic of an FOB song. Whatever.

27 is those kinda songs that requires an acquired liking. I thought it sounded pretty weird at first, but I gave it a bit of patience and now I love it. There're a couple of drug references like "shoot the sunshine into my veins" and "milligrams my head' with make it cool. Reminds me of Green Day. Green Day people are druggies, man. I like the way the vocals soar for "last night's stage". Oh, and this is the first FOB song I heard with "fuck" in it, if you don't count their collab with Timberland for One and Only. And of course you don't count that. No Timberland song is a song. "Song" implies artistic talent and effort, not moaning a bit as your guest artist does all the work.

Tiffany Blews is pretty....funky. Yea, funky. I like "I'm cocktail party doing alright. Hate me baby, maybe I'm a piece of art". And the way everything else shuts up during "3, 2, 1, we go live" is really REALLY cool. "My friends all lie and say they only want the best wishes for me" is a nice familiar shot of Pete's sardonic sarcasm. And the chorus is fantastic. Patrick can sing "oh baby, you're a classic" really high without sounding gay, which is an achievement itself. Unlike other dudes. Mika, Maroon 5 and Daniel Powter, I'm looking at ya.

As w.a.m.s. starts, you can't really tell what kinda song it will be. It turns out to sound pretty unique. The chorus is addictive and high and I like the crooning background vocals. The verses are okay, pretty cool lyrics. The song then has a fadeout ending then we hear this dude tapping his foot and singing something weird. Can't really tell if it's Patrick. I don't really consider this bit a part of the song.

20 Dollar Nose Bleed is not your average FOB song, coz it doesn't sound like one. The amount it differs from the standard is about as much as The (After)Life Of The Party from IOH. It has a more...grandiose sound to it. Something like Nine In The Afternoon by Panic! at the Disco. Still, it's nice. It the kinda song Jeremy and Qing He would like. I have no idea what/who Benzedrine is, but it sounds nice. The song ends with a distorted monolouge by Pete, which reminds me of Get Busy Living Or Get Busy Dying from FUCT. Then he starts screaming and it leads seamlessly into...

West Coast Smokers. The most "rock" song in the album, I guess. "Rock" as in the genre. It's also the only one with screaming vocals. I like it pretty much, but it doesn't end the album off nicely. There's no sense of closure. Unlike I've Got All This Ringing In My Ears And None On My Fingers, there isn't any "now press repeat" or something else like that. Oh well.

It's been almost an hour and 10 tired fingers and many times in fending off parents, but I've finally completed a really in depth review of FAD. Yay. In case you don't even know what this is, you can listen to it at http://www.last.fm/music/Fall+Out+Boy/Folie+%C3%A0+Deux. Assuming you're listening to some hip-hop/pop crap right now, this will really raise your taste in music.

Blood On Teh Dance Floor

It's an MJ song. MJ rocks, not matter how easily his nose falls out.

So. New year, man. New (air-conned) class. Which is bloody cold. Coz WR and I sit exactly at where the frost lands. ... I don't love our physics teacher, but it's gonna make an A1 alot more attainable and I guess I actually want to make that trade-off. 3I seems sorta okay. No truly bitchy or butchy people. I actually found the Xiao Hui dude bloody funny. And now I seem to pay more attention during lessons. Hope it'll be permannent. Either that or it's the 5 minute self-delusion that I am actually motivated. I really pity our Chinese teacher. Obviously, she a noob newb, therefore the enthuness. It's just sad that her soul will soon be crush and trampled and pwned by the guys.

Can't say I miss 2A. And I don't think anyone truly does. They just like their friends there. Fair enough.

Coming next, my Folie album review. I'll try to be as fair as possible. Yea, right.

We will never believe again

Kick drum beating in my chest again

We will never believe again

Preach electric to a microphone stand

~(Coffee's For Closers) by Fall Out Boy

In love with my own sins (Disloyal Order Of Water Buffaloes, Folie à Deux)

I. AM. GOING. TO. FALL. OUT. BOY'S. CONCERT. !!!!.

Now, officially, the only thing I haven't done yet is die. (Thriller, Infinity On High) The catch is (there's always one) THAT MY BROS ARE FOLLOWING ME. Aww well. Can't complain. Good nuff liao.

I also got Folie A Deux. Seems like FOB rules my life again. I was really scared that the album would suck, coz I was afraid that FOB's musical direction would change too much and crush me like how Panic! did. IOH showed signs of that. But they've stayed more or less the same. A little diversifying, but that's bout it. No weird rap or jazz songs. Thank god, man. My heart and wrists stay intact. (Me & You, IOH)

Anyway my current fav is the one with the water buffaloes. VEEEEEEeeeeeeeeery nice. Perfect boys with perfect lives.

"Tempest in a teacup, get unique

Peroxide Princess shine like shark teeth"

~Headfirst Slide Into Cooperstown On A Bad Bet

by Fall Out Boy

Nobody knows what the shit that means, but it's cool as hell, so who cares? I don't. (I Don't Care, Folie à Deux) Lol.

Crazy Versus Sane

Nice to be blogging again. Class chalet was pretty good. And whatever. Gonna have a X'mas thing on th 27th, my place again. Hope that it's cool. SAW TIME!! Woo. Though I sorta hate Saw now. It's not scary, it's disgusting. Fine line.

FOB's Folie A Deux came out yesterday. And if I bought tickets for their concert here on 10th Feb yesterday, I would also have gotten a copy of their album. Which is like, WTF. But I decided not to beg the folks. Coz aside from the unlikely "yes", I also think I'm kinda too young to go for a concert. As in, if I heard that a dude my age got to go for a concert, the first thought that would come to my mind is "SPOILT BITCH". So, see? I'm not a hypocrite.

Laid off DotA a bit, and went into Magic: the Gathering. Mainly coz I realised DotA was sorta low on the brain usage meter, despite the strategic element of it. The prob is, DotA gamepl;ay has become more and more uniform. No more crazy "OMFGBBQSAUZWHYDIDN'TITHINKOFTHAT?!" kinda new strategies. Even juking, which used to be fun, has become a mechanical process. Run round trees a couple of times, walk into blind spots, tele away. BOOOORING.

And I'm trying Magic coz I realised, after playing DM, that I missed that pri school TCG fun. And Magic's a pretty intelligent game. As compared to, say, POKEMON (?!) or NEOPETS (?!?!?!). And the greatest thing about it is that FLIPPING COINS DON'T DECIDE YOUR FATE! Woo.

Been reading a bit too. And I've found the perfect nemesis of the Twilight books. Peeps. It's a much better modern vampire book, and is a lot more intelligent. And don't you dare say its soul is empty and hollowed -- it also has a love subplot. No sex, though. Sad face.

Thinking of how next year will be like. (Note to self: MUST NOT TRY TO BE TOO FUNNY WHEN TALKING TO NEW PEOPLE.) I always do that and end up being evil/mean. Haiz.

Speaking of evil/mean, the end of year letters made me realise I was a little...(runs through mind for politically correct term)...unapproachable? So I wanna make peace with the world, for some kinda closure. Here we go: I can say that...(scans head for exceptions, and finds none)...I don't hate any of you. Yea. In fact, 2A of 2008's pretty cool. Yay us. There you go. I have a heart.

Wish I could blog more, but almost gtg. Yea. Bye.

This is the fall

This is the long way down

And our lives look smaller now

And our lives look so small

~Summer Shudder by AFI

The End.

(I know 3 songs with that title. MCR's, Simple Plan's and BFMV's. Lol.)

Yea okay. Breaking up ain't easy. Especially if it's 32 very emotional and psychotic people. We all know that I'm not really up for class spirit or whatever, but sometimes some things happen that can just crack that a bit. So I'm pretty attached too. For a detached person, that is.

I know, from primary school experience, that the really good friends I have can/will stay in touch. So actually, I'm not really that worried about "2A, RIP". But saying that to those people is like admitting you watch gay porn and think Drew Carrey is cute. They'll think you're the antichrist (I still dunno what that means, but it's supposed to be something very evil) or the spawn of Satan. So you'd only know if you read this blog. Please supress the urge to kill me.